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LR Roomates from Hell.
Found this on that other site I used to be on that I won't mention. Anyway, the thread was "who was your worse roomate on a LR trip." The starter thread was hilarious. Had me spewing coffee all over my office keyboard. I had fished with him, Lincoln, on my 8 day trip in 2003 so I could visualize his suffering too. In fact Lincoln, another angler, and I started our first morning having breakfast at Perry's--the same place Piggie, Hoggie, and I tried to meet before our trip No, this was not our 8 day trip of '03. I still have a pictuer of the three of us from that trip in my picture book at home.

Anyway, you have got to read this.........

I have posted this before, in response to other topics, but never as a stand alone post. I have received several emails, encouraging me to use this too......... liven up the board.

Please do not identify your worst person, don't want this to get personal.

Maybe it's funny now, but it wasn't funny then LOL.

Be it funny, tragic or infuriating......Let's hear it.

Here is mine.

8 day trip.

The entire point of a long range trip is to have fun. This involves catching a few fish, playing with a few shiny toys, good food, comradery, practical jokes, partying, etc. When approched correctly, it is one of the most addictive forms of the sport which we all enjoy. It is also, unfortunately, one activity where one or two bad apples can spoil the whole bunch!

HEHEHEHEHE, One bad apple if he is your roomate.

OK it's story time. It's not just the deck, where you can have problems with inconsiderate people. This is not meant as a bashing of any particlar anyone or anything, only relating a recent eight day from hell.

I had a trip booked with a good friend. At the last minute hiss boss canceled his vacation. Sooooooo I am going alone.

I arrived and checked in and got my bunk assignment, also met my new roomate.

I will attempt to tell this with as much humor as I can muster. But don't be suprised if a little anymosity slips in from time to time.

Ok this guy is the largest person I have ever seen on a sport boat. He also has the largest load of stuff I have ever seen come aboard. He is so large he can barely move. I helped him get all his crap on the boat and down to the room. On this boat there are three bunks in our stateroom. The bottom two are doubles and the top is a single. Because of his obvious limitations in mobility, I suggest he take the middle double bunk. I took the top single because there was no way I was sleeping under him. Rough seas could have ended my life.

First night out and it is time for bed. I go down to the room and trip over extension cords in the dark (trying to be considerate and not wake him) I had to eventually turn on the light to untangle myself. I discover an extension cord plugged into a power strip. Into the power strip are four cords. Attached to these menaces are a very large heating pad, two vibrators (yes two) and a foot bath (also vibrating) sitting in what little floor space there is.

He is smeared with some oily substance and running both vibrators over various parts of his large anatomy. Also he is naked!!!

Normally I sleep in my boxers, but I made one of those snap decisons we sometimes make in life, and elected to sleep fully clothed. I hop up into my bunk and am trying to sleep. With the boat under way, and being near the stern, the motors drown out the sound of the vibrators below. (what the heck is this guy doing?) I drift off to sleep with my back to the wall.

About thirty minutes into my not so pleasent dreams the light comes on. This guy is in the closet pulling out various things he has brought with him. He doesn't latch the door so everytime the boat rocks the door slams. He is in the mirror pulling the scabs off of two nasty looking open soars on the back of his head (forgot to mention these)the puss that is running out is being collected with tissues. This is also accompanied by an unpleasent odor.

After he finishes with his head (the one on the top) he exits the stateroom and slams the door. I won't say everything I was thinking because sometimes children read these posts. He did not turn off the light when he went out. So being one who needs the light out to sleep, I crawl out of my top bunk to turn it off. About the time I hit the floor the closet flies open again.

Projectiles come flying out of the closet onto the floor. By now I am a little grumpy to say the least. So I start picking them up and tossing them back in. I notice a rather large glass bottle floating in the foot bath (yes it's still vibrating) I pick it up and look at is a half gallon bottle of................EXTRA VIRGEN OLIVE OIL. I realize at this point that this is the oily substance that he is using to make his vibrators slip and slide. Sure glad I am sleeping with my clothes on. Also on the floor I retrieve a bottle of pink acrylic nail polish. Never did figure out what he was using that for.

Get everything rounded up and back in the closet. Latch the closet and turn off the light. Crawl back in to my bunk. heeeeeeeeeeeees back. On comes the light. He goes to the closet and starts rummaging around. Abruptly he asks me if I been into his things. I said "only to pick them up off the floor because you did not close the closet correctly. He grunts something and gets into bed.

Yes the light is still on. I ask him if he can shut off the light. He replies that it is to difficult for him to get out of his bunk in the dark. No wonder with his size and all the crap he is connected to.

So I decide.....OK....I am on a long range.....I am stuck with this guy......I will not let him spoil my fun.

I roll toward the wall to block the light (while exposing my backside) and try to go back to sleep. Then this behemouth starts farting up a smelly storm. I felt like I was going to gag. Finally I said "jesus christ man you need to see a doctor!!!!!!) I could reach the register for the AC from my bunk so I opened it as wide as it would go. Helped a little but not much.

Soon he is alseep and man can this guy snore. Fortunately the motors drowned it out somewhat and I drifted off. I awaken to the sound of the stateroom door slamming open and closed open and closed. I look down and he is gone again. The latch on the door was a little tweeked so you had to push it until clicked shut. Unfortunately for me this cannot be done from the top bunk.

So down I go to close the freaking door. When I am climbing back up I notice these huge yellow stains on his pillow. Also I forgot to mention, this guy had a cold or the flue or something. Sneezing and coughing and blowing his nose.

Almost asleep again. Here he comes. Slams the door and goes to the closet. This repeated all night at least 7 times maybe more. I got virtually no sleep and was as disgusted as one can get.

Thats only the first night.

This guy could not fit in a booth to eat so he brought his own folding metal chair. He would sit in the galley and scratch the sores on the back of his head, then he would stick his big ass meathook into the cookie jar and grab a fistfull of cookies. He owned all of the cookies after that.

This was a nightmare from the getgo. After three days of no sleep I decided to get a nap while he was on deck. Stopped in the head so I wouldn't need to interrupt my nap. Headed down to the room. Opened the door and here he is. Bare assed buck naked. Bottle of olive oil in one hand. His right knee up on the bunk, and his left foot on the floor. His huge stomach is hung up on the lip of his bunk. He is pushing forward trying to get his stomach to slip over.

The view from behind was not pretty. It came with all the unwanted bells and whistle hahaaaha. The crack of this guys fanny looked like a dairy cow. I was at the end of my rope. I exploded a little. I told him he smelled bad and he needed a shower. He informed me that he could not fit in the showers. I said at least go to the sink and clean your ass. I told him everyone on the boat was asking what the smell was, like I knew or something.

He then preceeded to tell me, with no shame whatsoever, that he couldn't reach his fanny to clean it because he was too big.

Some of the things that happened can't be mentioned here. Eventually I had had enough. I have a very sharp tongue when I am at the end of my rope. This guy slept on the foor in the galley the last three nights, and I did not feel guilty.

I am not a prejudice person, but I have to say that someone with these limitations, does not belong on a long range sport baot. Consideration of other people is very important when you're in close proximity.

He also had light line, crappy equipment and wouldn't follow his bait.

But inspite of all of this I still had fun. Caught some nice fish and made everyone laugh at my plight. What else can you do.

The captain gave me my choice of two free items, of any of thier merchandise, they offered from the boat. He also offered to change bunks with me but I declined. The boat is his home and I have too much respect for him to do that.

Sometime you just gotta bite the bullet

Fishing is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Tight Lines


Does he resemble one of those backwoods boys from Misourri, Piggie?
Posts: 224 | Registered: 07 November 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of AzFish
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There is no way I can top that story, luckily, however, I bunked with a person of similiar description last summer.
Posts: 131 | Registered: 27 September 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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What a story. I hope no one can top that. I have been very lucky over the years. Never had a bad roommate on a LR trip.


This message has been edited. Last edited by: FLLR,
Posts: 86 | Registered: 18 January 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Keta
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I guess I was lucky on the '06 January 15 day. I couldn't convince anyone else to go so I went alone. My room mate and me hit it off well from the minute he opened the door and knocked me on to the floor. We laughed it off and became good friends.

Life's Tough, Then You Die

Posts: 576 | Registered: 12 October 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I really like a " Room mate " story that involves Olliebear, " Extra Virgin " olive oil and fat naked guys on a Long Range boat.

Ollie! Ya suuuuuuuurrrreeeee no how to get a girl going. I knew there was a reason I wanted to go " LONG range " with you next time.

Only one question. Who brings the vibrators? hahahahahahahahahahhaa

Ya lasted longer than I would have.

My last trip on 12/26y/07...I was roomed with a little tiny whisp of a feller from Rock Springs, Wy. He had more stuff than I take to Australia when my Wife and I go for 3 weeks.

The flor was completely covered, except for the door. I had to literally kick his crap backwards to open the door.

The vanity was covered. He refused to put ALLLLL of his gear away..........UNTIL 1 1/2 days from San Diego......AT THE END OF THE TRIP!!!

Was never out of bed fishing. I couldn't do squat in the room as far as shaving, relaxing, reading. He was ALWAYS sleeping.

I am going to have to book with a group next time so we can choose our roomies.

I got first dibs on Ollie! woo-hoooo.

Just cal me . Pus Boy!
Posts: 893 | Registered: 17 November 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Ol Pedro
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Ollie , we had a guy on our turn arounds we called Skidmarks with some of the same problems . I didn't know that you could get skidmarks if you wore boxers until this guy came along . I think that he was 5'2" and 320 lbs . One of us had to push/roll him into his bunk until he broke it . So we had him sleep on the galley deck in a corner . We would even or odd to see who would help him up off the deck . His legs looked like telephone poles from the knees down and had open sores on them . He was a good fisherman at one time in his life but couldn't get around deck well when he hooked up .We would take turns helping him land his fish . He sat on an ice chest until he got bit . He fished Tuna 6-8 times a season for 4 or 5 years until he just disappeared .
Posts: 243 | Registered: 16 October 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Now THAT'S disgusting. Why do the truly vile, have to expose their nasty wounds for all to see?

And if yer that fat and disgusting, do something about it. Ya know ya can't fit into a bunk, a shower, or for that matter, even present yourself in a hygenically presentable fasion, then why subject the poor unsuspecting other passengers to this disgust?

I know this post will piss folks off. I don't care.

I fished a 5 day Western Outdoors Charter on the Searcher back in 2000. The COOK of all people, was huge like that! Ya should have seen him, trying, trying to squeeze thru the opening in the counters, just to get to the cooking station.

Then, because he was soooooooo huge, he was limited to what he could do back there that the food was absolute CRAP!!! He even burned the complete breakfast.....2 days in a row.

I have never gone back to that vessel.
Posts: 893 | Registered: 17 November 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Guys, you are scaring me to death. I am flying from TN this July alone. Should I expect to hear a banjo playing and someone telling me to squeal like a pig??????

For by your words you will be aquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. Matt 12:37
Posts: 191 | Registered: 05 November 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The most important question we all need to ask our feller from Tn.....Do ya has a purdy mouth?
hahahahahahahhaaaa What boat are ya fishing?
Posts: 893 | Registered: 17 November 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Hey, Pigsticker, I am interested in your hunting operation. Could you email me at

For by your words you will be aquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. Matt 12:37
Posts: 191 | Registered: 05 November 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Oh man I never even thought about this aspect of LR, but I sure will now.

Pig, you gotta give us a name on that boat with the fat cook. I wanna make sure I never go on it.

" I drift off to sleep with my back against the wall."

Best line ever. Thanks Ollie.
Posts: 262 | Registered: 21 September 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Piggie said it was the Searcher. Art Taaylor is the skipper/owner. They do a lot of Western Outdoor Special or Penn University Specials with our guy Steve Carson bein "Professor Pescador"

Hey Outhouse, Piggie is going to be the charter master for The Deliverance Charter. Interested? We'll have the cook serve pork rinds and grits, Ned Beatty will be the celebrity angler and he'll squeal real loud fer ya.


Keta will bring the extra virgin olive oil...hehehhehehee
Posts: 224 | Registered: 07 November 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I had 2 roommates from Hell last year on an 8 day trip on the Independence. They first started off stating that they were promised that they would not be sharing the stateroom (this with a full load and a 3 person stateroom) with anyone. I informed them that I was under the impression that I would be sharing staterooms with my friend from NorCal, but that I was assigned to this room and would see if there was some way I could change rooms. There was nowhere else to go, so I ended up squeezing into the room with these 2 BIG guys and all their "stuff". This consisted of bottles and bottles of booze, bags and bags of munchies and bags & bags of misc. items, not to mention that they had a boom box occupying the vanity/sink which made using this impossible and whatever they couldn't fit into the closets was thrown on the floor. They had the TV/DVD player in the room blaring all night, even though they had long fallen asleep. To make matters even worse, they both snored loudly and it was nearly impossible to sleep. Throughout the trip they engendered themselves to the crew and fellow passengers by constantly complaining about being hungry and other passengers who weren't "as cool" as they thought themselves to be. Needless to say these 2 "roomies from Hell" took some of the fun out of the trip, but it didn't stop me from going out and trying to enjoy the experience. Fish On, and try not to be a "roommate from Hell". Cool
Posts: 2 | Registered: 02 March 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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That's why it ALWAYS, ALWAYS important to carry VISINE with you on these trips. I'd bought both those jackasses a beer and LOADED it with the visine.
They would have been on the crapper for 24 hours. Then.......someone else buy them a beer. Keep them sick the entire trip and Voila!
Great trip.

I'll bring the Banjo's and the inflatable sheep.
Ollie, you bring the Vibrators, Outhouse, you bring the shine, Trapt, you bring the VIRGIN oil and we'll BREAK some virgins.
Posts: 893 | Registered: 17 November 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The down side to sliping the mickeys is the blowback, so to speak. You can slip them a cold one and 10 minutes after you've laughed your self silly, you'd be at the rail doing the long soak when the discharge pipes start spewing out "stuff". Oh joy, the stuff starts floating down going all over your line and you try to wind in before being contaminated.......SO remember to go to the bow if you slip them visine to get the red out.

Piggie's Charter trip will be called the "Only a Man Knows What a man Wants" fishing trip.


we can do the YMCA dance on the back deck as we pull out of dock......

I think Hoggie wants to be the Indian Chief

Y M C A.......
Posts: 224 | Registered: 07 November 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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